Embracing Resilience and Hope
In today's fast-paced world, mental health and well-being have become critical topics of discussion. Strengthening the mind is essential for navigating the complexities of daily life, maintaining emotional balance, and achieving overall well-being. For individuals experiencing homelessness, the importance of mental health is magnified. Staying focused, mentally healthy, and maintaining a strong personality and positive attitude are crucial in overcoming the vicious cycle of homelessness.
My Story: A Journey of Resilience
My journey in Ireland began 25 years ago as a young mother with two little ones in my full custody, divorce papers in hand. Alone, I faced an uncertain future for myself and my children, yet I was determined to achieve success and build a stable, healthy life for the three of us. It was a formidable challenge. Managing two kids, working full-time, and studying simultaneously, I grew both professionally and financially. Looking back, I shudder at the life I led. While other young women were going to discos or bars, I was studying, working, and caring for my kids.
In our family, education was always paramount. Reading books was as essential as drinking mother’s milk. My mother often said, "Being a person with a capital 'P' is crucial when standing your ground and navigating life. Your upbringing, your personality, your wide-ranging knowledge, and your humanity: these are the factors that define you." This ethos drove me to prioritize my daughters' education and continuously develop myself.
Unfortunately, the brighter future I was hoping for wasn’t the one that God had in His mind for me. The time came when my life made a huge u-turn, and I lost everything I had worked for, ending up financially destroyed and under huge stress and exhaustion. I felt like nothing made sense anymore.
Luckily, my girls found a room to rent, and I, who always kept our family together, couldn’t abandon our two little furry friends, who had been with us since they were 5-6 weeks old. Unable to find a place that accepted dogs, I decided to stay in the car with them.
I know many will judge me and say that I prioritized dogs over myself. Not exactly. These two dogs have been with us for 10 years, and we look at them as members of our family. I don’t leave behind or get rid of a member of my family because the situation is hard. I survived being very young, alone with two children in a foreign country without any backup, so I can sort myself out with two dogs. That was my decision, and I do not feel sorry for it. So, during autumn and winter, we slept in the car. My girls would get hot meals for us, and we had a chance to wash ourselves. Something I appreciated enormously. Another aspect was that I was in my car. I would look at people on the streets under heavy rain and think that I must be a queen – having a car as my shelter. It is funny perhaps to read, but for the first time in my life, I had no place to call home. Going through this ordeal, I thought about people who struggle on a permanent basis. It is a terrible life to have.
However, I want to talk here about how I kept it together all this time and after I started to come out of this. Hopefully, this will inspire people who are going through homelessness or other types of stress in their lives and will help them to find strength in my words based on my personal experiences.
The Harsh Reality of Homelessness
For those going through homelessness, daily life presents significant emotional and psychological challenges. The sight of others rushing home in the evening to warmth, comfort, and a hot meal while you are left outside in the cold, rain, wind, or snow is one of the hardest things to endure. You do not rush but just think where to stop overnight so you won’t get vandalized. This harsh reality can foster feelings of anger and despair. Anger because you feel weak and are trying to keep it together and not lose your humanity, thinking, "What the hell have I done wrong?" The worst that can happen is to start going through your past to find the reason for all of this. I will say – Stop it. Whatever happened in the past must stay there. It’s crucial to stay in the present, focused on the important things, work on your situation, and find a solution despite these overwhelming feelings.
Facing Bureaucratic Challenges
Seeking help from organizations can often lead to feelings of anger and frustration. Bureaucratic hurdles, cold and administrative responses, and the humiliation of receiving little to no assistance can be disheartening. Realizing that you are often on your own can be a tough pill to swallow. However, there are communities and organizations that genuinely care and can provide realistic help and support during these difficult times. Do not forget, it all comes down to the human factor in the end when dealing with them. I wrote letters from the Ministry to Social Welfare Officers, spoke with TDs and Lawyers, and just simple people. I think I can write a book now with step-by-step instructions on how to deal with everything and everyone in your position of being homeless. Suddenly, you become – Nobody, just like a shadow. Good to be walked over and nothing else. People look at you like something is wrong with you – all because of money. But there are people who still see in you a human being.
Strategies to Stay Focused and Strong
I went through many things in life without any help or support from others, beside one time when I was helped enormously by Jimmy Donegan. I consider him and his wife as my Irish parents. I and my girls have a very deep respect and a sentiment of gratitude to these people.
However, the rest I was the supporter of everyone and the one who sorted their difficult situations, even for my own family. As Granny was saying – Victoria is the strongest one among us. She is quiet but determined. No one knew how tired I was of being strong: in my personal life, my family, business, work, etc. Never drop your face – the motto I lived by my entire life. Now, I can firmly say that it is a wrong one.
However, I had no choice, so I found hobbies and interests I used to relax my mind and get away from everyone and everything. Besides my hobbies, I learned about the energetic science of our bodies and mind. I had a great teacher and am always thankful to her for bringing me to this: Debbie Boyle. She does an amazing job, and she, as a person, is great. I learned techniques that I use, and they helped me in my hardest times – like homelessness.
Mindfulness and Meditation
- Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and accepting it without judgment.
- Regular meditation can help manage stress and maintain emotional stability.
- Nature healing: raindrops, listening helps enormously, etc.
These practices can be a sanctuary amidst the chaos, providing mental clarity and inner peace.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices
- Although access to resources may be limited, prioritizing physical health can positively impact mental health. Engaging in regular physical activities (walking with my dogs daily at least 12,000 steps), sometimes 12 km, cleared my mind and helped me think clearly and see things from a different perspective.
- Seeking nutritious food, when possible. I know it is hard, but forget pizza, burgers, and fast food. Get soup, veggies, fruits, and tea instead of coffee, etc.
- Strive for adequate rest: It is very hard to sleep in the cold and on the streets but try to forget about this and sleep. You need this to keep it together, active, and always think that this ordeal will end one day, but your health won’t if you lose it.
Effective Stress Management
- Techniques like deep breathing exercises, yoga (parks have opened gyms), and time management can help manage stress levels. Finding moments of calm and relaxation, even in difficult circumstances, can make a significant difference.
Positive Thinking and Resilience
- Cultivating a positive mindset is crucial. Practices like gratitude journaling, positive affirmations, and focusing on small victories can help maintain a hopeful outlook.
Resilience is built through facing adversity, and each small step forward counts.
Engaging in Hobbies and Interests
- Finding joy in small activities can provide a sense of purpose and fulfilment. Whether it's reading, writing, or any other manageable hobby, these activities offer a mental break from daily struggles, helping to navigate the emotional turmoil of homelessness.
I was writing books, documenting my journey through homelessness, and working on getting my business back on its feet. I was also sending CVs. The issue with this was the interviews in the car with the dogs in the back. So, no pass as a result. Nobody wants to employ a homeless person no matter how much knowledge and experience you have. In time, after all my unsuccessful experiences, I decided to write books and work on getting my own business back.
Lighting Your Own Path to Success
Emerging from this chapter of my life, I realised that rebuilding isn’t just about personal success but also about creating opportunities for others. I founded the Victoria Maruhina Social Club, where innovation and creativity meets compassion, offering support to those in need without bureaucracy.
Through my books and NFT projects, I aim to not only rebuild my life but also support others facing distress.
Homelessness taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, gratitude, and the importance of community. My story is not just about endurance but transformation. I hope it inspires others to find strength, stay focused, and work towards a brighter future.
Together, we can turn challenges into opportunities for growth. Thank you for being part of this journey. Let’s cultivate hope and achieve fulfilment, one step at a time.
Conclusion
I concluded that for individuals experiencing homelessness, strengthening the mind and maintaining mental health are essential for breaking free from the cycle of homelessness. It's important to focus on positive steps, seek out supportive communities, and employ strategies to stay mentally strong, keeping your focus on your main goal. Remember, despite the immense challenges, there are ways to maintain your mental health and work towards a better future.
I invite you to join me in embracing resilience, hope, and community. By supporting my books, my NFTs and my Victoria Maruhina Social Club in its development.
I hope that my experience, even if a bad one, can be of help to others. I look at it as an adventure, another chapter in my life that I am leaving behind. I will never forget, and in my Life’s Book, the pages will be written not only about my endurance but also about the things I learned as a homeless person and how they shaped my personality. Find positive outcomes in everything; that’s the attitude I walk with on my Life’s path.